Do They Know?

One thing I love about when Ray and Lisa (Dallas' parents) visit is that our girls know how much their grandparents really enjoy them. They cannot soak up enough of the girls' unique personalities and individuality. Ray, especially, takes such pride in each of his granddaughters. It is very endearing.

I cannot remember where or when I began thinking about this idea, but I do remember concretely last year at our old apartment thinking, "Do my children know that I enjoy them?" Not just, "Do my children know I love them," but do they know that I enjoy them? And what do they see in my words and actions that shows them this? I'm not talking about entertaining them here. I'm talking about showing them love in how I respond to them, the thoughts I have about them, the way I parent them, and how I spend my day. Am I trying to hurry them along to get to "better things," or am I showing them that THEY are the better part of my day?

I am a Martha by nature (or was it nurture, Mom?), and I love to have a smooth-running household. But I also think and philosophize a lot, and I recognize that each day I have what feels like such a short window of time with each of our daughters. That is why I frequently make new resolve to hold each of our daughters in my arms, look into their eyes, and listen to them. Daily. It sounds so simple, yet I have to really plan on it and think about it to make it happen. I am not always successful.

I have certain times in my day when I have more energy. That is why I make dinner around 10:00 am. And I have finally discovered the power in making three dinners at once. It goes a long way to help me be more effective and present when the girls bound off of the schoolbus, which, unfortunately, is the time of day when I have the least energy. I miss the times when they were little, and we would check out 30 books from the library each week and read and read for hours. I hope they remember those days. I find myself trying to reawaken old traditions (like reading for hours) with the younger two now. I can learn a lot from the mother I was just a few years ago. I think as the years have passed, I've become more tired. :)

I found some old pictures I had flagged in iPhoto that I don't remember blogging about. Some of them are from a year ago. I hope that when the girls see these pictures, they can feel how much Dallas and I enjoy them.

We love you, girls.